Sunday, 15 December 2013

Madeline's 2013 Christmas Address


Good evening everyone, and welcome to my inaugural Christmas Speech.  I am so glad you have all tuned in.  I must say 2013 was a very busy year, both personally and professionally.  We have much to go through…

After spending most of 2012 on the Inside, I have been relishing my new found freedom and making up for lost time.

I was formally Named early this year in a touching ceremony I enjoyed very much.  My thanks to Mummy and Daddy for organising it and everyone else for attending.

I have had to adjust to Solid Food this year.  It has involved a myriad different tastes and textures and while nuzzling on Mummy’s Boob is just the bestest thing, munching on some pasta that the dog just licked comes a pretty close second…

To assist with Solid Food I have developed Teeth.  Painful buggers while they are coming through but my goodness, the fun you can have with Mummy’s Boob and Daddy’s fingers once they arrive!

After a briefly trialling “Crawling” I decided 2 Wheel Drive was the future and quickly adapted to Walking.  I must say I enjoy it very much and practice at every opportunity.

Mummy kindly started me on Swimming Lessons this year.  I took to water like a duck to water!  It is all going rather swimmingly, you could say…  (I seem to have a predilection for silly, silly puns.  Thank-you very much Daddy.  You will pay…).

My social life really took off though, when I began Day Care.  Merry Christmas to all my Besties!  You know who you are (especially you Archie, you curly-mopped little Spunk, you).  I look forward to sharing many more hugs, kisses, toys, flu’s, gastro outbreaks and colds with you next year.

At this point I must mention my brother and sister, Charlie and Ruby.  It is awesome to have such fun siblings, even though I don’t quite understand why you have four legs instead of two and are so hairy. 

Charlie, I am sorry I squeezed your nuts and almost bit your willy.  I had no idea they were so sensitive.  Honest!

Ruby, I realise you like your Alone Time, but you only have yourself to blame.  Your fur is just the most snuggle-worthy, softerest thing!  I could bury my head in it and hold clumps of it in my tight little fists forever!

 So what have I learned this year?

·         Escalators are just the best thing ever!

·         Pears are just the best thing ever!

·         Cuddles from Mummy are just the best thing ever!

·         Cuddles from Daddy are just the… okayest… thing… ever…

·         Santa Clause – weird, weird, scary man…

·         Learning to make fart noises with your mouth is just the best thing ever!

And so to 2014.  Even after such a massive 2013 I still look forward to next year with much optimism.  I am particularly looking forward to:

·         Becoming tall enough to reach all the dangerous stuff on the kitchen bench

·         Filling approximately 1825 nappies

·         Turning 2

·         Making fart noises with my mouth

·         Perfecting my Tantrum Body Slams

·         Finally working out where the Green Sheep is and

·         Delivering my 2014 Christmas Address verbally after learning to speak more proper…

Finally, I want to thank you all for making my first year-and-a-bit in this world such a blast.  It’s been, you know, Thing.  Really.  May you all have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy playing with the wrapping and packaging of a number of expensive presents.

And here’s to a joyful New Year full of giggles, babycino’s with my BFF’s and a new series of Peppa Pig…

Much Love to All,

Madeline RKP…

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